u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
