Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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