wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
