now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
