i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
