he wants to bone in the snuggie
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
