Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
