i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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