Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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