So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
