Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
false alarm, still single
Randomize
