How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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