The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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