Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
