Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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