So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
