What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
