i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
