My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize