In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
