Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
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I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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