cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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