She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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