i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
