I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
