I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize