windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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