The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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