Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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