No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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