If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
