rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
