i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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