i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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