Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
