Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
