Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
