Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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