They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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