I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I will be naked everywhere
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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