Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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