spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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