are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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