Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
