let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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