I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
