I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
