He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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