I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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