It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
