It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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