When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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