We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
