I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
