yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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