i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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