Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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