"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
