It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize