Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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